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I speak, you never listen
I ask for time, you make excuses
I want direction, you give me exceptions
What do I have to do to get your attention
A few minutes of your time
I am a young mind that needs molding
Not a toy that can be put down at will
When I do right, I'm ignored
When I do wrong, I'm chastised
Whatever I have to do to get your attention
I will
Whether it is good for me or not
If you deny my attention
I will find someone else to take your place
Then whatever happens will be your fault
How could you neglect your child
From the one thing I need
Your attention
Come Back To Self
The pursuit of wealth
The lust for power and money
Has led you astray
Weren't you once apart of us
Poor, downtrodden
Down on your luck
Having money in your pocket
Doesn't mean that you forget from whence you came
Those who helped along the way
People that extended their hand
Get nothing but a glance, no acknowledgement
Arrogance must cause amnesia
Have you forgotten everything
Hope the things in your life bring you joy
You'll soon see happiness is more than money can buy
We'll just wait for you to return to yourself
In the end you will need us before we need you
The lust for power and money
Has led you astray
Weren't you once apart of us
Poor, downtrodden
Down on your luck
Having money in your pocket
Doesn't mean that you forget from whence you came
Those who helped along the way
People that extended their hand
Get nothing but a glance, no acknowledgement
Arrogance must cause amnesia
Have you forgotten everything
Hope the things in your life bring you joy
You'll soon see happiness is more than money can buy
We'll just wait for you to return to yourself
In the end you will need us before we need you
Change The World
What have you done to change the world
Name one good thing you did for someone else
Then chose it not for a hobby, make it a lifestyle
Helping others should not be done for charity
To make us feel equal to the common folk
The less fortunate become ways for us to bolster or ego
Gain humanity for the sake of political gain
Perfect for a photo opportunity
Not valuable enough for conversation
Someone does
Millions of nameless people have that mission
To change the world
Those who will never gain notoriety from others
Nor grace the cover of a magazine
The people that they help
Feel that they have changed the world
If it just may be their world
Those that need applause never receive it
They don't want it
Pay them in change......
Name one good thing you did for someone else
Then chose it not for a hobby, make it a lifestyle
Helping others should not be done for charity
To make us feel equal to the common folk
The less fortunate become ways for us to bolster or ego
Gain humanity for the sake of political gain
Perfect for a photo opportunity
Not valuable enough for conversation
Someone does
Millions of nameless people have that mission
To change the world
Those who will never gain notoriety from others
Nor grace the cover of a magazine
The people that they help
Feel that they have changed the world
If it just may be their world
Those that need applause never receive it
They don't want it
Pay them in change......
Running From The Past
Running with wreckless abandon
Arms desperately pumping up and down
Like a pack of dogs dangerously close behind
At a speed so fast reminiscent of hyper speed
Beads of sweat fall in a constant flow
Breathing is rapid and anxious, almost forced
The present fades into a blur
Blocks of color and images
No time to slow down
Scared that the past will eventually emerge
Running only hinders living
Making the present distant
The future unattainable
By focusing on avoiding the past
Everyday life is a battle between old habits and new confidence
If time is spent to turn and face the past
Dealing with the demons and despair
Maybe then the running shoes can be removed
Then life can be enjoyed at a walker's pace
Arms desperately pumping up and down
Like a pack of dogs dangerously close behind
At a speed so fast reminiscent of hyper speed
Beads of sweat fall in a constant flow
Breathing is rapid and anxious, almost forced
The present fades into a blur
Blocks of color and images
No time to slow down
Scared that the past will eventually emerge
Running only hinders living
Making the present distant
The future unattainable
By focusing on avoiding the past
Everyday life is a battle between old habits and new confidence
If time is spent to turn and face the past
Dealing with the demons and despair
Maybe then the running shoes can be removed
Then life can be enjoyed at a walker's pace
Nothing Left
Exhausted to the point of emptiness
What more can I give
Pulled in a million directions
Everyone wants my time
They care nothing about mine
Responsible for the world
Neglecting my own self
What can I give
When there is nothing left
If I stumble, no consolation for me
Must continue to serve others
No matter the pain it causes me
When I try to vent my emotions
No one hears my cries
Just another opportunity for them to say what's on their mind
I just continue to suffer in silence
Bleeding internally on the inside
Operating just on fumes
I'm everything to everyone else
When it comes to me, I have nothing left
What more can I give
Pulled in a million directions
Everyone wants my time
They care nothing about mine
Responsible for the world
Neglecting my own self
What can I give
When there is nothing left
If I stumble, no consolation for me
Must continue to serve others
No matter the pain it causes me
When I try to vent my emotions
No one hears my cries
Just another opportunity for them to say what's on their mind
I just continue to suffer in silence
Bleeding internally on the inside
Operating just on fumes
I'm everything to everyone else
When it comes to me, I have nothing left
Behind The Mask
A facade
Fabricated expressions on a lying face
Almost comical
Deceiving no one but themselves
An act
Playing a role to perfection
Maybe Imperfection
Hiding their true feelings beneath
The mask
When will the charade end
No shame
Continuing to hide behind masks
Unveil yourself
Not asking you for perfection
Be real
Fabricated expressions on a lying face
Almost comical
Deceiving no one but themselves
An act
Playing a role to perfection
Maybe Imperfection
Hiding their true feelings beneath
The mask
When will the charade end
No shame
Continuing to hide behind masks
Unveil yourself
Not asking you for perfection
Be real
Liberated Minds
So many minds deprived of knowledge
Intellectually-deficient
Satisfied to be feed ignorance
Predisposed to the dumbing of America
Having an original idea is now uncommon
Everything about us is manufactured
Each a virtual clone of the next
No room for individuality
Our thirst for knowledge is slow
Like a burning candle wick
Wake up
Shake the dust off your mind
Take back your thoughts
Stop watching these images of buffoonery
Take time to learn about the world around you
Liberate your mind
Free it from bondage
Being like the masses is easy
Being an individual is liberation
Intellectually-deficient
Satisfied to be feed ignorance
Predisposed to the dumbing of America
Having an original idea is now uncommon
Everything about us is manufactured
Each a virtual clone of the next
No room for individuality
Our thirst for knowledge is slow
Like a burning candle wick
Wake up
Shake the dust off your mind
Take back your thoughts
Stop watching these images of buffoonery
Take time to learn about the world around you
Liberate your mind
Free it from bondage
Being like the masses is easy
Being an individual is liberation
In The Bottle
Liquid salvation
The solution to all life's ills
My medicine
The only thing that has ever loved me
Is in the bottle
The pain of the world fades away
If only for a few hours
Numb
I taste nothing, want for nothing
In the end I'm left with nothing
Clutching the bottle
I cradle it in my arms
For we share an intimate bond
No one can take its place
Family, friends, jobs
They are all jealous of my relationship
They want to take me away from you
From what's in the bottle
I fight
Been with you for so long
Scared to take you from my grip
Giving me security
I cling to you
Without you I have to face the world
Confront my demons
Awaken from my drunken state
I don't want to
I can't
Must have what's in the bottle
Please just let me have one more drink
The solution to all life's ills
My medicine
The only thing that has ever loved me
Is in the bottle
The pain of the world fades away
If only for a few hours
Numb
I taste nothing, want for nothing
In the end I'm left with nothing
Clutching the bottle
I cradle it in my arms
For we share an intimate bond
No one can take its place
Family, friends, jobs
They are all jealous of my relationship
They want to take me away from you
From what's in the bottle
I fight
Been with you for so long
Scared to take you from my grip
Giving me security
I cling to you
Without you I have to face the world
Confront my demons
Awaken from my drunken state
I don't want to
I can't
Must have what's in the bottle
Please just let me have one more drink
The Friend Zone
These can be the most damaging words a guy can hear
"Let's be friends"
Friends?
I got plenty of friends
That's not what I want
I spent all this time trying to gain your attention
All for nothing
For the label of friend
You say it like that word makes everything okay
"I don't think we would work out"
"But we can be friends"
What do you want me to do
Throw a party or something
Change my facebook status
"I am so excited that____ let me be her friend today"
I would rather you hate me than be your friend
At least I would know exactly how you feel
Some girls say that guys can handle being their friend
They are just hoping that one day your decision will change
But you know what
Most of us 'friends' are the closest people to the girls we love
Support through their failed relationships
Someone they can depend on
Now that I am older I understand the friend zone
The label friend is applied when the person decides you are lacking in an area
Not equal in their status or stature
Not worthy to date, but important enough to keep around
It's your choice to remain 'friends' or strive for something better
A person that wants you for you
"Let's be friends"
Friends?
I got plenty of friends
That's not what I want
I spent all this time trying to gain your attention
All for nothing
For the label of friend
You say it like that word makes everything okay
"I don't think we would work out"
"But we can be friends"
What do you want me to do
Throw a party or something
Change my facebook status
"I am so excited that____ let me be her friend today"
I would rather you hate me than be your friend
At least I would know exactly how you feel
Some girls say that guys can handle being their friend
They are just hoping that one day your decision will change
But you know what
Most of us 'friends' are the closest people to the girls we love
Support through their failed relationships
Someone they can depend on
Now that I am older I understand the friend zone
The label friend is applied when the person decides you are lacking in an area
Not equal in their status or stature
Not worthy to date, but important enough to keep around
It's your choice to remain 'friends' or strive for something better
A person that wants you for you
Fear of Failure
I'm afraid to fail
If I fail
I become frail
In my eyes
Weak
A shell of myself
Perfection
That's what I strive to be
Succeed in everything
If I can't
I don't try
I choose not to do new things
I hate being average
If I'm not the best
Why try?
Wasted time to me
Am I afraid?
Couldn't be
Could I be?
Will I actually fail?
Maybe
Maybe I know I will succeed
And that pressure is too much for me
Stronger than I want to be
Thought that I could be
I could just be afraid of failure
The failure to live dwells inside of me
If I fail
I become frail
In my eyes
Weak
A shell of myself
Perfection
That's what I strive to be
Succeed in everything
If I can't
I don't try
I choose not to do new things
I hate being average
If I'm not the best
Why try?
Wasted time to me
Am I afraid?
Couldn't be
Could I be?
Will I actually fail?
Maybe
Maybe I know I will succeed
And that pressure is too much for me
Stronger than I want to be
Thought that I could be
I could just be afraid of failure
The failure to live dwells inside of me
Success
I feel it
Like a current through wire
Pulsating throughout my entire being
Its energy surrounds me
Success
Calling out to me
In the distance
Beckoning me to come closer
Some dream blindly
No insight in their sight
Not me
I am success
Flowing through my veins
Infusing my blood vessels
Every heartbeat
Pumps new dedication
Focused
Above status quo
I don't dream
I foresee into the future
Breaking the glass ceiling
Watching each shard of glass
Fall to the ground
Naysayers question my success
They can't see it
Yet
That's my response
I don't expect them to see
Now
It will soon be revealed
The veil will be removed
There I will stand
A model of success
I have always been a success
I just needed a platform on which to stand
Like a current through wire
Pulsating throughout my entire being
Its energy surrounds me
Success
Calling out to me
In the distance
Beckoning me to come closer
Some dream blindly
No insight in their sight
Not me
I am success
Flowing through my veins
Infusing my blood vessels
Every heartbeat
Pumps new dedication
Focused
Above status quo
I don't dream
I foresee into the future
Breaking the glass ceiling
Watching each shard of glass
Fall to the ground
Naysayers question my success
They can't see it
Yet
That's my response
I don't expect them to see
Now
It will soon be revealed
The veil will be removed
There I will stand
A model of success
I have always been a success
I just needed a platform on which to stand
Breakthrough
In my sight
A wall
That stretches into infinity
Tall as the clouds
Unmovable
Indestructible
Defeat I feel
Inner despair
Wanting it to move
No more hindered progress
Destroy
Conquer
Yet it stands
Mocking me
Having caused no damage
I yell with rage
Desperate
Confused
Move right now
I say
Again it still remains
Help is needed now
Searching
Looking
I have power
I thought
My power not sufficient
Enough to move wall
Think
Pray
God I call
Need direction
What can I do
To move this wall
Believe
Faithfulness
I have power
But God
He has all power
So if I believe
Now
Instantly
Wall will fall
Not really
Wall was never there
Failure of my faith
Forgive
Receive
When I trust
Walls disappear
Obstacles are instantly removed
Life can continue progressing
Relief
Breakthrough
A wall
That stretches into infinity
Tall as the clouds
Unmovable
Indestructible
Defeat I feel
Inner despair
Wanting it to move
No more hindered progress
Destroy
Conquer
Yet it stands
Mocking me
Having caused no damage
I yell with rage
Desperate
Confused
Move right now
I say
Again it still remains
Help is needed now
Searching
Looking
I have power
I thought
My power not sufficient
Enough to move wall
Think
Pray
God I call
Need direction
What can I do
To move this wall
Believe
Faithfulness
I have power
But God
He has all power
So if I believe
Now
Instantly
Wall will fall
Not really
Wall was never there
Failure of my faith
Forgive
Receive
When I trust
Walls disappear
Obstacles are instantly removed
Life can continue progressing
Relief
Breakthrough
Life-Unsupported
The stench of rotting garbage
Emits from where I lay
It's dark and I cannot see
I cry for someone
Anyone but to no avail
Don't know how long I have been here
Still wrapped in my blanket
At least that keeps me warm
I'm so young
Why would you want to leave me
Mama where are you
I remember that you held me in your arms
Kissed me on the forehead and placed me
Not in a crib, but a garbage can
In an alley where the evil in heart prowl
The drug dealers, crackheads, pimps, hoes, criminals
This is not a place for me
I hear sounds on the outside
Screams, liquor bottles break
The cry of police sirens drown out my cries
I thought I was your precious angel
Worth more than gold
You chose to throw me away
With everything else that is unwanted
Emits from where I lay
It's dark and I cannot see
I cry for someone
Anyone but to no avail
Don't know how long I have been here
Still wrapped in my blanket
At least that keeps me warm
I'm so young
Why would you want to leave me
Mama where are you
I remember that you held me in your arms
Kissed me on the forehead and placed me
Not in a crib, but a garbage can
In an alley where the evil in heart prowl
The drug dealers, crackheads, pimps, hoes, criminals
This is not a place for me
I hear sounds on the outside
Screams, liquor bottles break
The cry of police sirens drown out my cries
I thought I was your precious angel
Worth more than gold
You chose to throw me away
With everything else that is unwanted
Never Knew Me
Like a chameleon I blend into the background
Present but not seen
May recognize my face
Never my name
The spotlight I avoided
Attention I fled
Invisible
Thought that the background was safer
Being visible takes effort
Forces me to be vulnerable
Which frightens me from change
My content angers me
Yet I continue the cycle of control
I blame others for my reclusiveness
Transferring my insecurities on them
Living a life that does not include me
Each day a repeat of the last
Can't blame others for my fears
Doesn't matter that others didn't know me
I never knew me
Never tried
Didn't think I was important enough to know
I didn't think I was important
There's so much about me I don't know
Present but not seen
May recognize my face
Never my name
The spotlight I avoided
Attention I fled
Invisible
Thought that the background was safer
Being visible takes effort
Forces me to be vulnerable
Which frightens me from change
My content angers me
Yet I continue the cycle of control
I blame others for my reclusiveness
Transferring my insecurities on them
Living a life that does not include me
Each day a repeat of the last
Can't blame others for my fears
Doesn't matter that others didn't know me
I never knew me
Never tried
Didn't think I was important enough to know
I didn't think I was important
There's so much about me I don't know
Walking Contradictions
Perfection sought in an imperfect world
Yet we stand in disbelief as the perceived good people fall
Seemingly preposterous to think that fame or notoriety brings holiness
Continuing to manufacture 'heroes' that will show us the way
With the comment "he/she is such a good person"
A good person sinfully flawed by flesh
Why place your faith in people?
Knowing that they are destined to fail you
Stop worshipping these idol gods
Buying into the propaganda that is embedded in your mind
Can we be so simple-minded?
Everyone is a contradiction to a certain degree
No one is 100% good or bad
There is nothing wrong with failing
People consistently fall from grace
We cannot assume that a good person = good behavior
A person = a person
Nothing more, nothing less
There was only one 'good' person
Ironically we follow Him less and less
Yet we stand in disbelief as the perceived good people fall
Seemingly preposterous to think that fame or notoriety brings holiness
Continuing to manufacture 'heroes' that will show us the way
With the comment "he/she is such a good person"
A good person sinfully flawed by flesh
Why place your faith in people?
Knowing that they are destined to fail you
Stop worshipping these idol gods
Buying into the propaganda that is embedded in your mind
Can we be so simple-minded?
Everyone is a contradiction to a certain degree
No one is 100% good or bad
There is nothing wrong with failing
People consistently fall from grace
We cannot assume that a good person = good behavior
A person = a person
Nothing more, nothing less
There was only one 'good' person
Ironically we follow Him less and less
I Was Built For This
Through storm and rain I reign
Never deterred from my goals
Let the winds blow
The thunder pound
Yet I don't flinch
Nor waste a minute to worry
I laugh as the rain cries from the sky
Why am I so confident?
Because I know who controls the storm
Through Him I will be protected
I need no shelter
My refuge is with Him
God would not have made me
If I couldn't endure the storm and rain
Excuse me if my faith is foreign to you
I apologize for trusting God to protect me
He never puts more on me than I can bear
Just like the plants in the ground
Rain is necessary to survive
That is why I refuse to complain
Stand when others run from the rain
God only wants me to grow
Never deterred from my goals
Let the winds blow
The thunder pound
Yet I don't flinch
Nor waste a minute to worry
I laugh as the rain cries from the sky
Why am I so confident?
Because I know who controls the storm
Through Him I will be protected
I need no shelter
My refuge is with Him
God would not have made me
If I couldn't endure the storm and rain
Excuse me if my faith is foreign to you
I apologize for trusting God to protect me
He never puts more on me than I can bear
Just like the plants in the ground
Rain is necessary to survive
That is why I refuse to complain
Stand when others run from the rain
God only wants me to grow
The Space I'm in Right Now
Well its been awhile since I have just posted a thought and I decided tonight would be a good time to do one. I am very appreciative of the response that my writing has been getting lately especially on facebook. I am actively thinking about pursuing writing as a career. Not for the fame or the fortune, but to connect with millions of people. I now know that through the responses I have been getting that my work has power. It is because of the power of my words I want to attempt to reach anyone that I can. In the past, I was ashamed of writing and thought that no one would really enjoy what I wrote. Now I know that I was just scared of my own potential. So if you enjoy my writing please leave comments and let me know what you think. It really helps me to know what you think. Even if you didn't like something that okay too.
Until the next time......
Terrence
Until the next time......
Terrence
Weight of the World
A labored breath
A methodical walk
The body buckles under intense pressure
Dead weight
Upon the shoulders
Being carried with no destination
Only destined to be carried
Muscles tense as pain increases
Offers of help are denied
Met with rejection
No one else deemed to be capable
The weight continues to be carried on
The back spasms and the neck aches
Weight shifts
Balance is lost
Weight ultimately too heavy to bear
Some weight may be lifted
For a short time
All weights must eventually fall
No weight was meant to be carried forever
A methodical walk
The body buckles under intense pressure
Dead weight
Upon the shoulders
Being carried with no destination
Only destined to be carried
Muscles tense as pain increases
Offers of help are denied
Met with rejection
No one else deemed to be capable
The weight continues to be carried on
The back spasms and the neck aches
Weight shifts
Balance is lost
Weight ultimately too heavy to bear
Some weight may be lifted
For a short time
All weights must eventually fall
No weight was meant to be carried forever
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